When I arrived to New Zealand, I was really tired. I had traveled 14 hours to get to Christchurch. It didn't stop me from seeing the city though. After a quick stop to the hotel to get freshened up, Sonia and I were off. First stop, Sergios formal wear. I had to try on and rent a tux our wedding. Well, after that was done we walked down the main street, I believe it was Colombo Ave. We had lunch at this little outside pub named Monteiths Brewery. Little did I know at the time that Monteiths Brewery is one of the countries main beer brewing companies. They served a beer called Monteiths Summer, it was their seasonal brew out at the time. It was really good, you could just taste a hint of ginger in it, it wasn't too dark either. Afterwards, Sonia and continued walking until we came across town square. Here amidst the church cathedral back drop were many activities and events watched by different spectators. So after stopping for fruit smoothie, Sonia and I continued watching the festival. There were many people doing many different things. There was a guy doing a few magic tricks, some were selling their wares, but one thing really caught my attention.... "Hey Sonia, who the hell is that guy?"
"Ohh baby, thats just the wizard"
"The Wizard? What does he do, Magic too, like that guy over there."
"No honey he is just a wizard, lets watch." So we walked on over there drinking our smoothies and watched as an announcer with a microphone and portable amplifier began to announce something.
Wizard: What are you doing?
Introducer: I have to introduce you. You need an introduction.
Wizard: I need nothing and you don't have to do any such thing. I want to talk and I'm going to. Now go sit down.
[Introducer sits down.]
Wizard: Have you ever noticed how many things people "have to do"? Your parents have to do a lot of things, don 't they? Especially when there's something you'd like them to do. They have to go to work. They have to pay the bills. They have to clean the house. They have to go through the mail. They have to read the paper. They have to go to the store. They have to talk to people on the telephone. [stage whisper] Do you think they really have to do all those things?
But you do it too, don't you? You can't come to dinnner right now, you have to finish watching this television show. You have to finish the game you're playing. You have to do your homework. At Christmas you had to get that special toy everyone else was getting. You have to see this movie. You have to go to baseball practice. You have to wear what everyone else is wearing. You have to shave your head the way Tommy's older brother shaved his. There are a lot of things you have to do.
Well. I am a wizard. And do you know what that means? It means I don't have to do anything.
Was I always a wizard? Well, no. Once I was a child just like you. More intelligent and more handsome, of course, but a lot like you all the same. I remember quite clearly: I was sitting at the dinner table and my mother was telling me that I had to eat my green beans. And suddenly I had a revelation. I said, "Why do I have to eat my green beans?" which I had never asked before. My mother said "If you don't eat your green beans, you won't grow up big and strong like your father." I looked at my father, and then I said "I am prepared to take that risk." Much unpleasantness followed, but I did not eat my green beans.
Soon I began to ask why about a great many things. Why did I have to go to school? They told me, "If you don't go to school you won't get a job." But I said, "I don't want a job." Think about it: Did Jesus have a job? Socrates? Jeremiah? In the entire history of the world has any really interesting person had a job? I think not.
"But you have to get a job," they told me. "Why?" I asked.
"Because you have to have money," they said. And I said, "Why?"
"Because you have to have a car. You have to have a house. You have to raise children. You have to have a television, designer jeans, Nintendo, furniture, carpeting, washing machines, microwaves, computers, Air Jordans, MTV, Big Macs, Coca-Colas." And I said "No." Because that is the special perogative of a wizard. A wizard can always say "No." And since that time I have not done any of those things that people said I had to do unless it pleased me to do so. And I do not have any of those things that people said I had to have.
Now you probably like a lot of those things, and so you will probably never want to be a wizard. There are very few of us. But just in case you ever do, you will have to remember the secret. No one can become a wizard unless they know the secret. It's a secret that your parents will never tell you. Your teachers will never tell you. You will never hear it on television or read it in a newspaper. No one but a wizard will ever tell you this secret. And so you'd better listen closely, because unless you meet another wizard you will never hear this secret again: Nobody has to have anything. Nobody has to do anything.
You'll go back to your seats and your parents will say "Oh that crazy wizard, you can't listen to him." But you and me, we know the secret.
Now go. [Waves his hand, turns and leaves.]
So now I am astonished, I can't believe what I just heard. What he just described is something we would call a lazy bum who has no aspirations to do or be anything. Except in New Zealand he is called a Wizard.
This is the first of hopefully many stories I will write depending on how well they are viewed and liked. So if you want to see more, let me know.
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